Trauma. Sh*t. Baggage. History. A past. We all have it. You are not broken and should not be treated as such. The question is: What are you doing about it? How do you react and respond to life on life's terms? Are you resilient? Can you problem solve, overcome, and keep looking forward?
Talking about trauma, your past, baggage over and over again is not helping you heal. Let’s try something new! When was the last time you felt resilient? Like you had grit, tenacity, or perseverance? If you answered yes, found yourself nodding your head in agreement, pr you are here to learn, READ ON!
Here’s a quick-start guide to building some resilience in your life RIGHT NOW!
Get a SUPPORT SYSTEM. The number one difference between people who recover from sh*t is whether or not they have a support system. Having family and friends to be there in your time of need and to advocate for you is healing. Having a good therapist, mentor, and/or coach in your corner will round out the team nicely.
SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTION. Viewing every problem as an insurmountable crises will feed the belief you are broken. Staying solution-focused and result-oriented will keep you on track for success. Get extreme in taking your power back. For example, the wind knocked a branch onto your car, smashing the windshield. This didn’t happen to you. It was an act of nature. What can you do in the future? Park your car where tree branches won’t fall on it in case of a wind storm. You can’t control the weather, but you can control how you plan for emergencies/worst case scenarios.
Learning to BE FLEXIBLE when plans change takes the sting and disappointment out of situational shifts you have zero control over. Being rigid is a symptom of perfectionism. Life is hard and messy. Not everything is your burden to bare and playing the martyr only hurts you in the end.
SET DAILY INTENTIONS. Just as I discussed in why New Year's Resolutions are Ridiculous, setting intentions at the beginning of your day gets your head right. Doing little things each day add up to big things in the end. Continuing to work toward a goal keeps you forward focused and from getting too mired in the mud of your past. I personally like using mantras such as “I CAN. I WILL. I MUST.” or “Actually, I can!” to remind me DOING is the hardest part, but it can be done if I just do the next right thing. Baby steps. Crawling. Whatever. If it will get me where I want to be - I’m here for it.
Remember- you are not an ostrich. KEEP YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND. Avoiding conflicts and problems because it makes us anxious only perpetuates the problem. Make the best decision you can with the information you have. Stand behind that decision. If you get new information and want to change your mind, DO.
SELF-CARE is essential. From physical movement and exercise in general to the emotional labor that is learning to set and maintain boundaries, self-care is the framework for the above mentioned tips.
If these tactics aren’t working, please be sure to contact a local therapist or look one up on psychologytoday.com . Some trauma requires specialized therapeutic tools such as EMDR, DBT, Somatic Experiencing, and/or neurofeedback.
Feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns, for feedback or suggestions. In the meantime- see if one of these Exquisite Thoughts is helpful for your situation!